DM templates · Instagram
Get more referrals from your Instagram DMs
A referral DM asks someone who already likes you to pass you on, and hands them something easy to share: a code, a link or a message they can forward. Send it when they've just written to you or mentioned you in their Story, because the chat is open and they're already recommending you. Below are 12 templates for each step, from the invite to the thank-you.
Updated 6 October 2026 · 12 templates
12 messages to copy
Tap a card to copy the message. Swap anything in braces, like {name}, for your own words before you send it.
Invite after a happy message
So happy you love it! If a friend would too, pass on this code: {code} gives them 10% off their first order, and you get 10% off your next one when they use it.
Name both rewards in one sentence. Only promise the second half if your shop or referral app can see whose code brought the order in.
Reply to a Story mention, with a link to share
You put us in your Story, thank you! If any friends asked where it's from, this link gets them 10% off and lets us know they came from you: {link}
A Story mention lands in your DMs as a message, so you can answer it with a link right away. Through a tool, that's possible for 24 hours after the mention.
A message friends can forward as it is
Hi! {name} thought you'd like {business}. We make {product}, and this link takes 10% off your first order: {link}
Send it as its own bubble, with a line before it saying “forward this one”. It's written to make sense on its own, even pasted into another app.
Welcome for a referred friend
Welcome, and thanks for coming over from {name}! Your first-order code is {code}. Is there anything I can help you find?
This chat is the friend's first impression of you. Answer whatever they ask before pointing them at the shop.
Their reward is ready
Good news: your friend placed their first order, so your reward is ready. {code} takes 10% off your next order, any time before {time}.
A tool can only DM someone within 24 hours of their last message, and a friend's order rarely lands inside that. Send this by email unless they've written to you recently.
Bring a friend to an appointment
Thanks for today, {name}! Bring a friend to their first appointment and you'll both get {reward} off. They only need to mention your name when they book.
For bookings, a name at the time of booking is all the tracking you need. Write down who referred whom, so nobody has to remind you on the day.
How referrals work, in three steps
Here's how it works: share your link, your friend gets 10% off their first order, and once it ships you get a {reward} credit. The full details are here: {link}
Three steps, in the order they happen. Keep the small print, such as minimum spend or how long credit lasts, on the page you link to.
Public reply when someone tags a friend
Love that you thought of each other! @{friend}, send us a DM with the word FRIEND and we'll give you 10% off your first order.
This one goes under the comment, not in a DM. You can't message a tagged friend until they write to you, so give them one word to send.
Asking without a reward
Small favour: if you know anyone who'd enjoy {product}, would you tell them about us? For a shop our size, a recommendation from a friend beats any ad.
Not every referral needs a reward. From a small maker, a plain ask from a real person can land better than a code.
Saying no to a self-referral
Sorry, the friend discount is only for new customers, so it won't work on a second account. You're very welcome to use {code} on this order instead!
People sometimes try to refer themselves with a second account or email. Say no kindly, and let the shop's own settings, such as first orders only, do the enforcing.
Invite to become an ambassador
You've sent more friends our way than anyone this year, thank you! Would you like a code of your own, with {reward} for every order it brings in? Happy to explain how it works.
Ask before you create a code with their name in it, and suggest they mention the reward when they share it, so friends know where they stand.
Share the post instead of a code
Glad the guide helped! If you know someone who'd find it useful, send them the post: they can comment GUIDE and get their own copy, the same way you did.
For creators, the post itself is the referral. There's no code to track, and the friend comes to your DMs on their own terms.
Set it up in DMFast
Friend DMs FRIEND, gets a first-order code
A friend who was tagged or told about you can't be messaged first, so the invite asks them to send one word. Their message opens the chat, so the code and the card go out together. Keywords match whole words, so “my friend sent me” works as well as FRIEND on its own.
Pick direct messages
Connect your Instagram account and add an auto-reply for DMs. It answers messages, not comments.
Set the word: FRIEND
Any message with the word FRIEND in it gets this answer, in capitals or not.
Paste the message
Add the message shown here and the link card that goes with it.
Free plan, no card. Instagram professional accounts and Facebook Pages.
Rules to know
- You can't DM the friends someone tags in a comment. Meta's API only lets you reply to people who wrote to you, commented, answered your Story or mentioned you in one of their own.
- A Story mention or a Story reply arrives as a message, so you can answer it, link included, within 24 hours.
- Automated messages can only go out within 24 hours of the person's last message. The 7-day human agent tag is for support from a real person, not for offers such as referral rewards.
- A comment can get one private reply within 7 days, and nothing more until the person answers.
- Automated replies have to make clear that they're automated.
Sources
Who you can message about a referral
A referral involves two people, and Meta's rules treat them differently. The customer who wrote to you can get a reply. The friend they tell can't be messaged until they write to you themselves.
| Who | Can you DM them? | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| A customer who messaged you today | Yes, within 24 hours of their message | Send the invite while the chat is open |
| Someone who mentioned you in their Story | Yes, within 24 hours of the mention | Thank them and hand over a link to share |
| A friend tagged in a comment | No, not until they write to you | Reply publicly with a word they can DM you |
| A friend who got a forwarded link | Only once they message you | Make sure the link works without any chat |
| Customers who last wrote weeks ago | Not through official tools | Email, a card in the parcel, or a Story |
Make it easy to pass on
- One thing to share: a code or a link, not both, unless the link applies the code by itself.
- A reward for both sides, in a single sentence. “You both get 10% off” is easier to repeat than a points table.
- Personal codes from your shop or a referral app. An auto-reply sends identical words to everyone, so link it to the page that hands out codes.
- A message that makes sense out of context. The friend never saw your chat with the referrer.
- An update when the friend orders, by email if the DM window has closed, so the referrer knows it worked.
Mistakes that make a referral ask feel pushy
- Asking before the order arrives. Wait until they've used it and told you they like it.
- “Tag three friends to unlock a discount.” Threads full of tags look like spam, and the tagged friends never asked to hear from you.
- A reward you can't track. If you can't tell whose friend ordered, don't promise the referrer anything.
- Asking again and again. One invite per happy moment is plenty.
- Pitching the friend before they've said a word. Wait for them to message, then answer what they ask.
What to measure
Track first orders per referral code or link, and how long they take to arrive after the invite. Your shop or referral app counts the orders; a tracked link in the DM counts the taps. If people tap but friends don't order, the reward is too small or the landing page asks too much. If nobody taps, the invite went out at the wrong moment.
Questions people ask
Can I DM the friends someone tags in my comments?
No. An account can only message people who wrote to it, commented on its posts, replied to its Story or tagged it in their own. Reply to the comment instead and invite the tagged friend to DM you a word; once they do, you can answer.
Can an auto-reply give every customer their own referral code?
Not on its own. An auto-reply, in DMFast or any other tool, sends the same message to everyone. Link to a page from your shop or a referral app that creates a personal code for each person who signs up.
When is the best time to ask for a referral?
Right after they've told you they're happy: a thank-you message, a photo of the order, a Story mention or a repeat booking. The chat is open, and they're already in the mood to recommend you.
Should the referrer or the friend get the bigger reward?
There's no single right answer, but the friend's reward does a lot of the work, since it's what the referrer gets to offer. Keeping it even, such as 10% each, means the whole invite fits in one sentence.
Can I DM all my customers to announce a referral scheme?
Not through official tools: messages can only go to people who wrote to you in the last 24 hours. Announce it in a post or a Story, put a card in your parcels, and send the invite in the chats you're already having.
Related templates
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